Would you believe it? Nether! This week’s Let’s Play sees Rob trying and failing to get used to the pace of a survival game, as he trudges from corner to corner boisterously fog-horning about not knowing what’s going on and where is he and what time is it. Dive in and watch it then!
Watch and listen or read Rob’s inane ramblings about Call of Duty Advanced Warfare and how the series has in every way been shown by Rockstar’s recent GTA V first person mode announcement.
We go HANDS ON with Turtle Rock’s co-op monster kill ‘em up Evolve in this playtest of the recent alpha! What Rob be utterly feeble at video games whilst also proving he a brain made of soggy cardboard! Hooray!
Respawn returns for its SECOND ever video, this time a Let’s Play for the asylum crawling, ghost sprawling, raring, scaring, spine-chill ‘em up Daylight! Carry on inside to watch Rob be unnervingly jittery when faced with lukewarm digital horrors! Hooray!
Codemasters are back in the saddle, potentially, with their new Micro Machines-a-like Toybox Turbos. Relieve the glory days, maybe, and pretend we’re all playing Megadrives and watching Art Attack after school! Hooray.
To like Gran Turismo is to like waiting. Or at least be very used to it, and Kazunori Yamauchi reckons probably ‘2015’, but y’know, maybe ‘2016’, but definitely hopefully before the next World Cup. Maybe.
We hope you folks like downloading stuff; because the excellent looking Halo assemblage The Master Chief Collection is going to come with a bandwidth-creasing 20GB day one download!
It’s VIDEO time folks. Dive right in to watch Rob be exceedingly bad at video games. Like Mr. Kipling. Only opposite. And there’re less cakes. So it’s bad news all round really. Inside, Rob has a fleeting bash at Bioshock Infinite’s arena mode DLC Clash in the Clouds! COR.
We’re BACK! Hooray! But before the ceremonies begin and you get used to this fancy new layout, Rob takes a moment to SPEAK OUT, as we seemingly can’t get him to stop doing, on Gamergate, a relatively recent fiasco that has swiftly sent games industry progress thundering back around 10 years!! Hoorah! Wait… not hoorah. Jump inside and find out what we’re on about EH.
Rob masks a desperate plea for a game based on Phillip K Dick’s mind-malfunctioning A Scanner Darkly behind some nonsensical rambling about drugs and video games and the inevitable downfall of the human race! Perfect Sunday evening reading by anybody’s standards. So long as those anybodies don’t have standards of course.
Rob finally, ineloquently stumbles through the world of GTA Online, hand-held every step of the way by an experienced comrade yet still managing to feel, amongst other things, total isolation, irradiating jealously and ultimately, an active yearning for something less exciting. Who knows. Get inside and find out what he’s blathering on about then!
Microsoft’s Ken Lobb has trounced the ancient act of counting, claiming Crackdown’s latest doesn’t need a number three so there. Rob gratuitously takes this opportunity to moan about the art of dropping numbers in general.
We’re BACK. Because it’s E3. So. Y’know. Here’s why Microsoft did everything they said they would, and technically everything we wanted, but still managed to be a little on the quiet side. Jump in for the first of our E3 2014 articles, and watch Rob desperately try to enjoy himself. Ahem.
Jack Tretton has thrown the towel in. We suppose he had the mic wrapped up in there too, as we all know how he likes to lob those things about. As is the case though, Rob gives a little ode to ups and downs of Jack’s recent years tugging on the reins of Sony, and how in one fell swoop, everything changed for everybody’s favourite nervous uncle.
Far Cry: The Wild Expedition generously crams FOUR killer (well, mostly) games onto one disc, and in celebration, here’s a short synopsis of each game cleverly disguised as a reason to buy it! Because we all love lists don’t we. Lists and reasons. Reasons and lists. Jump on in to find out WHAT I THINK. Since you obviously care so much.
We’re BACK. Which is to insinuate we went away! Which we did! Only momentarily over Christmas whilst we drank ourselves into a furious haze that coupled over-nourishment might well have killed us! Anyway, we’re back from whatever that is, and are on hand here to tell you why 2014 will be less bad than you expected! Like Windows 7. But not Windows 8. H’oh no. Get inside and give it a butchers, kids!
We stick our ore in where it isn’t required and find out why Forza 5 caused such an uproar and ask what it means for the future? Also Turn 10 are disappointed in themselves. Well so you should be Turn 10. So you should be. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.
After tailing off on some story from several millenia ago, in which he also fleetingly mentioned Nvidia, Rob decides to show rampant displeasure in the face of other people SAYING THINGS. Namely Nvidia, who, by and large, manage to say very little in their interviews. More inside kids, get inside and slap your eyelids on this ‘un eh! EH!
ANOTHER Gone Playing? Yes, two of the same thing in a row, but we’ve not had anything to say all month, presumably because Rob’s been running our Stanley into the ground. Sort of. Watch as he coagulates with shameless joy in this post, and remember the days when he used to DISLIKE things with misty eyes! Why not.
To hell with reviews we say! Well, we don’t, but if we were going to, then this is how we’d say it! Find out about our brand new section Gone Playing, and whilst you’re there have a butchers at five questionable reasons we couldn’t get off GTA V! And people say we’re not real journalists. Cuh!