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Codies Enter Micro Machines Territory Again with Toybox Turbos

Codemasters are back in the saddle, potentially, with their new Micro Machines-a-like Toybox Turbos. Relieve the glory days, maybe, and pretend we’re all playing Megadrives and watching Art Attack after school! Hooray.

Gran Turismo 7

Gran Turismo 7 Will Probably Definitely Come Out One Day

To like Gran Turismo is to like waiting. Or at least be very used to it, and Kazunori Yamauchi reckons probably ‘2015’, but y’know, maybe ‘2016’, but definitely hopefully before the next World Cup. Maybe.

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Master Chief Collection has Flipping Great 20GB Day One Patch

We hope you folks like downloading stuff; because the excellent looking Halo assemblage The Master Chief Collection is going to come with a bandwidth-creasing 20GB day one download!

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VIDEO | Bioshock Infinite: Clash in the Clouds Test Run

It’s VIDEO time folks. Dive right in to watch Rob be exceedingly bad at video games. Like Mr. Kipling. Only opposite. And there’re less cakes. So it’s bad news all round really. Inside, Rob has a fleeting bash at Bioshock Infinite’s arena mode DLC Clash in the Clouds! COR.

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Gamergate: Why Respawn has Remained Silent

We’re BACK! Hooray! But before the ceremonies begin and you get used to this fancy new layout, Rob takes a moment to SPEAK OUT, as we seemingly can’t get him to stop doing, on Gamergate, a relatively recent fiasco that has swiftly sent games industry progress thundering back around 10 years!! Hoorah! Wait… not hoorah. Jump inside and find out what we’re on about EH.

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Gaming and Narcotics: Opportunity, Fear and Desperate Pleas for Games

Rob masks a desperate plea for a game based on Phillip K Dick’s mind-malfunctioning A Scanner Darkly behind some nonsensical rambling about drugs and video games and the inevitable downfall of the human race! Perfect Sunday evening reading by anybody’s standards. So long as those anybodies don’t have standards of course.

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Getting into GTA Online: An Impossible Task

Rob finally, ineloquently stumbles through the world of GTA Online, hand-held every step of the way by an experienced comrade yet still managing to feel, amongst other things, total isolation, irradiating jealously and ultimately, an active yearning for something less exciting. Who knows. Get inside and find out what he’s blathering on about then!

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Why the New Crackdown Needs a Number

Microsoft’s Ken Lobb has trounced the ancient act of counting, claiming Crackdown’s latest doesn’t need a number three so there. Rob gratuitously takes this opportunity to moan about the art of dropping numbers in general.

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Microsoft’s Absent E3 2014 Keynote

We’re BACK. Because it’s E3. So. Y’know. Here’s why Microsoft did everything they said they would, and technically everything we wanted, but still managed to be a little on the quiet side. Jump in for the first of our E3 2014 articles, and watch Rob desperately try to enjoy himself. Ahem.

Jack Tretton

President of SCEA Resigns: An Ode to Jack Tretton

Jack Tretton has thrown the towel in. We suppose he had the mic wrapped up in there too, as we all know how he likes to lob those things about. As is the case though, Rob gives a little ode to ups and downs of Jack’s recent years tugging on the reins of Sony, and how in one fell swoop, everything changed for everybody’s favourite nervous uncle.

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Four Reasons Why Far Cry: The Wild Expedition Should be on Your Buy List

Far Cry: The Wild Expedition generously crams FOUR killer (well, mostly) games onto one disc, and in celebration, here’s a short synopsis of each game cleverly disguised as a reason to buy it! Because we all love lists don’t we. Lists and reasons. Reasons and lists. Jump on in to find out WHAT I THINK. Since you obviously care so much.

2014 in Games | Respawn in... 5

2014 in Gaming: Five Reasons Why This Year Will Be Less Bad

We’re BACK. Which is to insinuate we went away! Which we did! Only momentarily over Christmas whilst we drank ourselves into a furious haze that coupled over-nourishment might well have killed us! Anyway, we’re back from whatever that is, and are on hand here to tell you why 2014 will be less bad than you expected! Like Windows 7. But not Windows 8. H’oh no. Get inside and give it a butchers, kids!

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Turn 10 Aren’t Mad at Themselves, Just Disappointed

We stick our ore in where it isn’t required and find out why Forza 5 caused such an uproar and ask what it means for the future? Also Turn 10 are disappointed in themselves. Well so you should be Turn 10. So you should be. Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

NvidiaTalk

Nvidia Think You Should Buy a PC: Cataclysmic Revelation Shocks Nation

After tailing off on some story from several millenia ago, in which he also fleetingly mentioned Nvidia, Rob decides to show rampant displeasure in the face of other people SAYING THINGS. Namely Nvidia, who, by and large, manage to say very little in their interviews. More inside kids, get inside and slap your eyelids on this ‘un eh! EH!

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The Stanley Parable | Gone Playing

ANOTHER Gone Playing? Yes, two of the same thing in a row, but we’ve not had anything to say all month, presumably because Rob’s been running our Stanley into the ground. Sort of. Watch as he coagulates with shameless joy in this post, and remember the days when he used to DISLIKE things with misty eyes! Why not.

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GTA V: 5 Obscure Reasons | Gone Playing

To hell with reviews we say! Well, we don’t, but if we were going to, then this is how we’d say it! Find out about our brand new section Gone Playing, and whilst you’re there have a butchers at five questionable reasons we couldn’t get off GTA V! And people say we’re not real journalists. Cuh!

Parkour

Parkour for the Course? | Feature

We make brash, nonsensical doomsday predictions about the future in a manner by which the Daily Mail have hailed ‘not too bad, keep at it and maybe we’ll make snakes of you yet’. Sort of. Jump inside and find out what Rob thinks of all the parkour in Titanfall and Dying Light and explains why it DEFINITELY spells trouble for us all! Sort of. Okay not really.

Nvidia Shield Hands On

Nvidia Shield | Eurogamer Expo Hands-On

We’re at it again! This time we’ve got our hands ALL OVER the Nvidia Shield, something we were very much looking forward to doing! Find out what we thought of the machine, and our hopes for its rather uncertain future inside! Well get in then!

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Wolfenstein: The New Order | Eurogamer Expo Hands-On

We’re BACK AGAIN folks with yet another Eurogamer Expo hands on! This time we valiantly and charitably take on the robotic might of the Nazis in Wolfenstein: The New Order. Is it good? Is it bad? Were we REICHtously impressed? (Sorry) Find out inside. Obviously.

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Xbox One | Eurogamer Expo Round Up

We’re really hammering these out this year aren’t we. PS4 down, Xbox One to take the stage. Can Microsoft’s EGX 2013 offering compete? Will there be any games? How long would it take to bludgeon an innocent man to death using the console itself? The answers to these questions are not inside this preview! Get in and have a read. Well go on then.


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