I went to Eurogamer! Hooray for me. Sure it was a week ago already, but as we have long since established, I am rubbish. Here’s a little post on my thoughts about the show in general, playtest specific articles to follow!
The Stanley Parable designer William Pugh has put out another game. It’s brilliant and free and everything you are not. Play it now. Drink it in. Improve your life.
I love Fallout. All I’ve ever wanted to do is wander around abandoned, ruined cities occasionally shooting robots. So why can’t I play 4? Read this inane dribbling to sort of find out!
Here we go then, Microsoft were first out of the gate, and right here’s what happened and what we thought! Dive on in to find out how much the console will be, when it’s out and what delicious games are shuffling out for it too! Blimey.
Rob’s up next for his Of the Year BIT; is there ANYTHING that’s managed to conjour even a convoluted smile this year? Is there anything that’s caused a tall-standing-lamp-throwing rage? Is there anything that’s invoked a vague sense of reserved achievement in amongst 2012’s trundling nuances? Not sure? Neither is he, as this article proves! Get inside and have yourself a shufty boys and girls!
We’re really hammering these out this year aren’t we. PS4 down, Xbox One to take the stage. Can Microsoft’s EGX 2013 offering compete? Will there be any games? How long would it take to bludgeon an innocent man to death using the console itself? The answers to these questions are not inside this preview! Get in and have a read. Well go on then.
If you’re into arbitrarily delusional nostalgic spiels that don’t make a lick of sense, then Rob is going to OH-BLIGE your cravings by sticking together a short, unhinged and largely directionless jibber jabber about the current generation. In light of GTA V moments away from hitting shelves, he takes a moment to look into the last eight years.
Someone grab that horse and get Rob off it. He’s not good with heights. The Xi3/Steam saga, otherwise known as Pistongate, is gutted like a disappointed fish in this latest splurge, as we find out what’s going on and question why on Earth the media took fiction for out right fact! Read on THEN.
Far Cry: The Wild Expedition generously crams FOUR killer (well, mostly) games onto one disc, and in celebration, here’s a short synopsis of each game cleverly disguised as a reason to buy it! Because we all love lists don’t we. Lists and reasons. Reasons and lists. Jump on in to find out WHAT I THINK. Since you obviously care so much.
It’s video time AGAIN, as we show off Rob’s appalling sniper skills and his breathtaking ability to somehow miss an integral mechanic of the game and make the first few minutes of the video utterly redundant! We take a look at the downloadable preorder bonus for Hitman Absolution, which comes in the salacious form of a Sniper Challenge mission. Old baldy’s back. Are YOU getting it?
Free to play you say? FREE? To play? No thank you. Because that statement is a tissue of lies, isn’t it. Rob gives us all a fleeting update on the free to play front, and asks, if this IS the future, is it a future any of us gamers want? And will it lead to us all just playing thinly veiled trial-length demos and crying into our cornflakes? It probably will.
If you haven’t heard of OUYA, and for that matter aren’t sure how to pronounce it, then don’t panic, because Rob has you covered in this slightly questionable run down of the latest phenomenon from the firmly clenched jaws of Kickstarter, complete with videos, pictures, and incoherent babbling. Get inside then!
We’ve been ambling around the point for almost a WEEK now, but that was chiefly because Guesty’s in the middle of finishing off a special treat for you all. And we promise it won’t be like last time! Anyway, Rob gets DOWN TO BUSINESS on Nvidia’s latest surprise announcement in our first post of 2013!! Pictures inside! Sorry we’re late!! Not really!
We finally get to grips with this year’s most promising shooter so far. If you’re bored of testosterone encumbered shrieks of ‘Revive me!’, or mindless repetitive deathmatches, Brink is the one to set those lenses on! OR IS IT!?? Read Rob’s thoughts on Bethesda’s class-based TF2-alike FPS!
GO ON THEN!
OH GOOD LORD! HERE IT COMES AGAIN! In this unhinged stream of conciousness that may or may not be suitable for anybody with half a mind, we take a quick sideways glance at the Steam Sale and try not to buy anything! Rob is an all day sucker, and he even says so inside!
That’s right, exclusive PLAYSTATION VITA UNBOXING videos are right on inside, with the backing of Rob’s sensual, stirring voice to stammer and splutter and mispronounce and leave long, questionable pauses all the way through! Get in there and find out what comes in Sony’s latest portable pandemonium purveyor!
Tomb Raider gets the boot again! The reboot that is, as we go HANDS ON with the latest build of Crystal Dynamic’s own take on the sexy, sultry, gun-toting, animal hunting, element surviving victim of attempted assault! Is this new iteration Lara’s best bet yet? Is it her worst bet? Does Rob ever get off the point of spieling incoherently about the originals!? Who knows? You do! If you read on.