I”M BACK. I mean. For the moment. Here’s a stream of unintelligible thoughts I had when I played Firewatch a little while back. I quite liked it.
The Stanley Parable designer William Pugh has put out another game. It’s brilliant and free and everything you are not. Play it now. Drink it in. Improve your life.
I love Fallout. All I’ve ever wanted to do is wander around abandoned, ruined cities occasionally shooting robots. So why can’t I play 4? Read this inane dribbling to sort of find out!
Of course, I’m playing Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, and of course, the balloons are my favourite bit.
Rob’s been playing Rocket League, in some sort of desperate attempt to get away from The Witcher for 40 seconds. Can he possibly enjoy a FOOTBALL CAR game?
I’ve been playing Oquonie, among other things, and its unique, abstract world is something to get lost in. That’s both your character, and your sense of things that aren’t written by David Firth.
PREVIEWS. We do those too, seemingly, and here we see Rob preening about in a coloured cloak and raising some demons to do the things he can’t be bothered to do in Nekro! Find out what he thought in this, our Early Access Preview!
Kim gets to grips with the first episode of the time-travelling life ’em up Life is Strange! Find out what she thought in this REVIEW. Which we do actually do. I just have to get other people to do them.
Far Cry: The Wild Expedition generously crams FOUR killer (well, mostly) games onto one disc, and in celebration, here’s a short synopsis of each game cleverly disguised as a reason to buy it! Because we all love lists don’t we. Lists and reasons. Reasons and lists. Jump on in to find out WHAT I THINK. Since you obviously care so much.
TWO reviews in the space of a month? We’re mad right? Mad! Brian Mad from Madcastle! Jump on in to find out what on Earth we thought of Ubisoft’s latest loveable platformer Rayman Legends; does it compare to Origins? Is there ANYTHING different? Does it still feel like you’re playing a cartoon? Have their been too many question marks in this excerpt? All this and much less, inside!
I know, a review, on Respawn!? You’ve got to be kidding? Nope. This here is LEGIT. So much so that it couldn’t possibly relinquish its tenure. So get your face buried into this page and find out what we thought of THREAKS’ bubble bouncing ‘beat’ ’em up (geddit) platformer Beatbuddy! Cor.
Guesty finally got off his ass and decided to write a review for a game that came out months ago. Isn’t that nice of him? This game crawled out from under the woodwork, much like Guesty after his four day bender of drinking nothing but Mountain Dew he bought from a man in a grey van in some car park. We’re all a little worried about him. Read his review so we can convince him to go cold turkey from the “Dew.”
Resi 6 is shuffling toward our front door with each passing day, and here at Respawn, we don’t bat an eyelid when someone insists we’re LATE TO THE PARTY. So here’s an answer to that prolific, cerebrally stimulating question ‘Should I Buy Resident Evil 4: HD Before Six Comes Out?’ Here’s why Resident scribbler Tom Mcshane reckon’s you won’t go far wrong in doing so!
Reviewing with the audacity of man wildly pointing out the weather, Tom slams down his copy of Theatrhythm and scribbles us a rip-roaring review on the latest portable Final Fantasy outing, this one coming complete with tap shoes and jazz hands! Is this everything it sounds? Thankfully no. Get inside and find out what we thought why not!
Guesty finally has his way with the latest Transformers game as our review of Fall of Cybertron transforms in front of your very eyes & ONTO YOUR BRAIN. Is this new one everything he dreamed and more? Is it less than he dreamed but still satisfying in every imaginable way! Find out inside. Click!
Our Max Payne 3 review looms ardently into the bullet and alcohol-splintered centre stage as Rob sits down with Rockstar’s third entry into this legendary series to have a good, hard chat with it. In slow motion too. He’s still there. It’s going on forever. Get inside and find out what we thought of Max’s Brazilian excursion!
FINALLY, we finished it. And finally we’ve managed to pen something that bares some sort of familiar reference to a fully-fledged, unabashed REVIEW. And what’s more, we’ve done it with NO SPOILERS. Yep, they’re coming later, when we take a closer look at that chin-waggery ending, but for now, dive right into our misty eyed reminisce of the time we poured into ME3 and find out if YOU should play it! Wop!
You might have considered us to have forgotten how to do reviews… well NU-UH. Tom dives head first into the portable edition of Resident Evil. Could Revelations be as bad as Mercenaries? As good as Resi 4?? Hand-cripplingly brilliant or machine-throwingly poor, find out if Resi Revey is worth your time inside! COR.
Once Guesty finally finished frothing at the mouth, we sat him in the office and beat some words out of him. The first were all pretty much indistinguishable gargles, then after a month or so he started actual words, but preceded every one with Holy- something or other. Eventually he strung a coherent sentence together and BANG. Here we are. Check out what we think of Rocksteady’s follow up to the stunning Arkham Asylum, have they kept a tight hold of that prestigious gaming crown, or has the Penguin gone an’ ‘ad it!? FIND OUT HERE AND SUCH.
Rob has a RIGHT GO at the new wireless speed wheel, the latest accessory to cause onlookers to audibley scoff, and then mutter something anti sematic. Is it really the perfect Forza companion? Or an overpriced piece of plastic pretension that belongs in the barrell of bizarre Wii add-on cast offs? YOU decide! Actually we’re going to tell you.