Happy Friday, kids. If you’ve somehow managed to endure the relentless onslaught of The Angry Fire Ball over the last few days, you’ll be pleased to hear that the forecast for the weekend is akin to someone turning up at your house and standing Boris Johnson’s big fat flabbering mouth in-front of you, turned up to 11, for three hours. By which I mean, yes, it’s going to be uncomfortable and there’s going to be some rain. Which in turn means we can all stay in playing video games still, and just feel less guilty about it?
Gaming guilt is a weird thing, and like most Weird Things, I get it a lot. It’s sunny? GUILT. The dishes need doing? GUILT. The house is on fire maybe you should leave? GUILT. I don’t think there’re many hobbies, save for say, the consumption and distribution of Class As or watching Love Island, that really incur quite so much guilt, simply for spending time doing what we love.
I actually have quite a peculiar issue with even turning a machine on sometimes. Especially the Switch. I take my seat on the train and strap myself in for an hour and forty minutes’ of the inconsiderate oaf sat next to me trying to insert his elbow into my lung, and think NOW is the perfect time for some gaming. But I put off reaching into my bag, removing the pouch, removing the system and then firing the thing up. Not least because I have to also do the same with my headphones, also dearly departed in the darkest depths of my bag.
And when all this occurs to you, you have to go – I mean, how lazy actually am I.
Once I’m on – once I’m plugged in and Breath of the Wild is on the go, or the PS4 is on and I’m stuck into Overwatch or what have you, I’m lost to it. But just getting there? Why do I find it such a struggle.
Anyway, now I’ve written all that I’ve got a haunting feeling that I’m totally alone in this; that no one else has that creeping dread in their head constantly banging its fist on the back of your eyes and yelling obscenities about how whatever you’re doing is wrong wrong wrong. Ahem.
Little insight into my crumbling mental state for you there. You knew what you were getting into when you came to this site, don’t whinge.
Anyway, while I’m limbsing about struggling just to play games, I thought in the meantime I might dive back in, after literal weeks of silence here, and offer up some sort of schedule that I now have to keep to, in terms of content. How about that then? Here’s what we plan to have up on the site pretty soon:
Gato Roboto Review – I had this bad boy preordered, and seeing as I have a rule of never preordering things, that’s quite the anomoly. How did it win me over? Well chiefly you play as a cat. A cat that drives mechs and submarines, across a glorious-looking black and white, 8-bit landscape in the key of Metroidvania. It’s also published by the fine people at Devolver Digital. It’s taken me ages, but I’ll have some words on what’s good and what’s not good soon to come!
Overwatch and esports – My timely descent into the world of esports began only a little over a year ago, and since I’ve recently become utterly enthralled in playing Overwatch again, I’m going to seriously give the esports offshoot, The Overwatch League, a crack. London Spitfire are going toe to toe with, erm, someone else this weekend, so check back soon to find out what it’s like going in with a couple of beers and an inability to really grasp what’s going on!
Environment Agency – My time in Breath of the Wild (which yes I’m still playing) is mostly spent waiting for it to be really sunny, and then frolicking amongst the luscious long grass like I’m in a Famous Five novel. Or something. That sounds like the sort of lark they used to get up to. This will be a few of my favourite environments, and why and how they grip me to my very core.
Boom. Three features I’m promising you will probably be up in the next week or two. Don’t say I never give you anything. In fact don’t pull on that thread at all. I’ll also try keep the week-to-week blog a bit more up to date, because I have kind intentions like that. And as always, I’m making no promises.
Last but not least, I’ll leave you with this. Have you ever wanted to smell your games? Well!?
As ever, more on Respawn soon you lot!